Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
