Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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