The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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