Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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