i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As shirtless as possible
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
