Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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