At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
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I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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