Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
