He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
