Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
