So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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