Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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