Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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