I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize