i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
