return my video game
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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