it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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