What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
