Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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