Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
