I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
