Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
