She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize