so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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