He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize