My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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