so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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