I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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