i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
