i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
