Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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