I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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