He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
