I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
