they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you never un-have a 4some
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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