WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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