peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
