Dual....:-)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
