The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
