All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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