I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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