Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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