We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
