oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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