Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
