This girl is more easily done than said...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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