What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
