I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
