maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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