You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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