The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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