i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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