I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
