Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
