Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize