i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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