you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
