ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't want my vagina anymore.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
