All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
