My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
