when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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