i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you would pick up someone in the library
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
3pm strippers are depressing
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
