I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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