Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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