I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
