he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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