he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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