all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
send nudes
from the living room?
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