Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
