I will die if light touches me.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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