her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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