Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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